Why Paul Mirengoff Is an Idiot

I’ve seen this anti-Huckabee post from Powerline going around and I just can’t keep silent about it anymore. Powerline is a “respected” blog. G-d only knows why. It was named Time’s blog of the year. And Time, as far as I’m concerned, isn’t even fit to be used as toilet paper. It’s not soft. It’s not absorbant. It’s full of lies and bullcrap. They even, in their heyday, made Adolph Hitler their man of the year. So I suppose making PowerTools their blog of the year isn’t really out of character.

Paul Mirengoff wrote a particularly loathesome column, or rather vomited one, on the front page of PowerSlime recently that should rightfully anger any right thinking Christian. Paul, if you’re reading this, perhaps you should crack open a KJV Bible someday. It might do you some good, you sickening nerd. And you might consider a makeover, too. Really. Look at that picture in the upper right. I mean yow. Yeccch.

Now I wrote a much more diplomatic argument against Mirengoff’s disgusting diatribe in general over at Conservatives United, but I can cut to the chase and give you the straight dope here at B4C. Here’s Paul’s repulsive arguement against Huckabee. And keep a barf bag on standby folks, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride:

My main objection to Huckabee — the reason why he’s my fifth choice out of five — is that I lack confidence in his ability to fight terrorism.

Based on what, you vile toady?

The real problem is that he’s too moralistic.

Translation: too much like Christ.

Now we learn (but are surprised) that Huckabee opposes waterboarding and would close the Guantanamo Bay detention center. Huckabee reached this conclusion after meeting with a group of retired generals (the usual suspects, I assume) who are lobbying candidates to oppose Bush administration interrogation and detention policies.

When you assume, Mengele, you make an ass out of you and me. Would somebody please waterboard Paul until he wets his pants in fear?

I suspect that Huckabee required little lobbying. Waterboarding and long-term detention aren’t very “Christian”;

Oh, giggle, giggle. You slay me, you funny comedienne! Such wit! It’s astonishing! And your point is that’s a good thing, right? You like the idea of torture, don’t you? You love it. It really gets you excited, doesn’t it? What do you dream about at night, you repulsive jackass? Have you ever prayed to G-d, Paul? Have you been born again through Jesus Christ? Ah, I didn’t think so. So let’s continue….

they merely keep terrorists out of action and, in special circumstances enable us to find out where we’re going to be attacked next and/or where we can find those who are planning the next attacks.

Which “special circumstances” are you talking about, Paul? Care to cite some, you know, real world examples?  Humor me.

But if Huckabee actually did reach his position based on the views of a handful of generals, and without consulting the people actually charged with protecting this country from terrorists, then he’s even less qualified to be president than I suspect.

So, generals aren’t good enough for you, are they, Paulie? Who do you think is actually charged with protecting this country from terrorists, eh? You? Don’t make me laugh. What rank did you achieve when you served our country? Hmmmm? If you’re a pimply little know it all who knows nothing whatsoever about fighting the war on terror, I put it to you that you are not qualified to pass judgement on Mike Huckabee, you stinky little turd.

I’m sorry for my use of language, but this makes me really mad. It’s as if Mike Huckabee isn’t bloodthirsty enough for some, including the bloodthirsty lunatic Paul Mirengoff. Just remember that Jesus Christ died on the cross to save you from your sins, Paul. If you are judging Huck because he is not willing to torture others so that you can get your rocks off, you have a one way ticket to hell. And good riddance. You disgust me. Utterly.

Paul, take a little friendly advice and just shut the hell up. Thanks, on behalf of a grateful nation.

Hat tips: Race 4 2008 and Balloon Juice.

— Psycheout

Tags: jerks, Paul Mirengoff, Powerline