I know what you’re thinking: Rudy & Judy? Isn’t that like Punch & Judy? Well, yes. Perhaps in more ways than one. When America elects a President, they also elect a First Lady. Does Judy (who now apparently prefers to be called Judith) measure up to great First Ladies of the past, luminaries such as Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush or even Laura Bush? You be the judge.
She has variously been called a “harpy,” a tiara-wearing “princess bride” and “a particularly unpleasant combination of Catherine the Great and Britney Spears.”
Ouch. That’s not good. Wasn’t there a story about Catherine the Great and a horse? Hmmm. I digress.
Republican presidential candidate Rudolph Giuliani and his handlers always knew they would have a delicate task peddling the charms of his mistress-turned-wife given the scandalous and sensationalized origins of their relationship.
Oh, that’s right. I forgot about that adultery and mistress thing. Ouch.
For starters, there was the revelation that Mrs. Giuliani had been married not once but twice before (just like Mr. Giuliani himself.)
Then there was the news that in her job selling medical equipment, she used to demonstrate a surgical stapler on dogs who were later put to death.
Oh my G-d. That’s horrible. This is even worse than Mitt Romney and Hillary Clinton‘s treatment of animals. Can you imagine using a surgical stapler on a live dog just to hawk surgical equipment? What a monster! If she’d do that to a dog, what would she do the American people?
Now on the stands sits Vanity Fair’s less-than-flattering profile based largely on anonymous sources, which describes her as a social status-seeking, materialistic, busybody who has forsaken going by the name Judi in now insisting on being called Judith, demands a separate airplane seat for her “baby Louis” Vuitton suitcase, forced her husband to retrieve a forgotten sack of health bars during a high-security visit to Mexico and has a hit list of her husband’s staffers whom she apparently wants fired.
This reminds me of Jeri Thompson, who seems to be more interested in running for President than her grandpa like husband, Fred!
The very genesis of the couple’s relationship was bound to be problematic. Mr. Giuliani, then mayor of New York, and Judith Nathan, a divorcée, began seeing each other when he was still married to his second wife, actress Donna Hanover. He famously announced the end of his 17-year marriage in a surprise press conference that ultimately provoked a nasty row over who had the right to live in the mayoral Gracie Mansion.
What a nice guy that Rudy is. How heroic he is! Apparently Judy has him whipped too. Recently he interrupted his talk to the NRA (being broadcast on C-SPAN) to take a cell phone call from his wife!
“Hello dear. I’m talking to the members of the NRA right now. Would you like to say hello? … I love you, and I’ll give you a call as soon as I’m finished, OK?” Right before hanging up, he tells her to “have a safe trip.”
“Please don’t hurt me,” he said under his breath.
I don’t know if Judith would be the first mistress to become First Lady, but it certainly seems less than dignified. Fortunately there are plenty of reasons to reject Rudy that have nothing to do with Judy (or Judi). But as a package, they’re quite a pair. My impression? Yeccch!
Exit question: Which one looks better in a dress?